Holly's got a baby in her stomach.

Something new

Bought a Promaster 2500PK Super on eBay last night. I spent little on it, so if this new hobby is a flop I wont be out too much. But I'm determined to figure it out!

I've been researching film photography for hours today.

Listening to old jazz

Those hills make you moon and make you swooney

'cause the devil's in the details

Born in the USA (except not.)

This is what it looks like falling off a mechanical bull. It was fun though.

Benz being Benz.

Anthony, my 7 year old step brother, playing with sparklers.

Peanut, my mom's really mean poodle.

It's been a while.

Benz, being Benz.
Now we are off to the dog park.

oui oui

French macaroons from The French Market that I bought today. Almost too pretty to eat.

Livin' the Princess life.

xmas dinner party!

My brain hurts and is over worked at the moment... its finals. I had 2 today.. one in an hour and a 7 page paper due. yesterday and today are kicking my ass!

Xmas break starts tomorrow for me.. after a final of course. I can not wait to not have to do anything for a month. This xmas break is gonna rule. got a bunch of stuff planned out. I need to get on top of shopping. Cant wait for xmas and New Years! im going to Stlouis a few days before xmas to hang out with Ben and his family. then after his familys xmas party on xmas eve we are going to my parents home for a few days. then off to Atlanta for a vacation together for New Years! We have tickets to the UT-Virginia tech bowl game and reservations at Top Chef's Kevin Gillespie's restaurant. i am pretty excited about this trip. Cant wait to get away and relax and shop and eat and watch football!

i need to do so much stuff this weekend. xmas shop for my family and Ben and i need to find some cute dresses for new years.

ahhhh my brain is deadddd. too much studying too many tests!

"Wake up in the morning feelin' like P.Diddy."

My friends rule. My life rules.

Our Memphis/Ole Miss trip was a success.

Partied on Beale Street in Memphis. Got VIP passes to a club..for free. Had a great time at the game at Ole Miss. Got a ticket for $25 from an old day... 6th row seats for $25? Yes please! Had an awesome time partying at the tailgate in The Grove. I finally got to wear my awesome orange flower dress. It was a hit! Thanksgiving next week with my boo!

Livin' it.

Friday starts my road trip with my girls. Memphis then going to Ole Miss for the game! We've always wanted to road trip to an away game together.. and we are finally doing it! No tickets yet.. but im sure they wont be hard to get on game day.If you have some or know someone who does let me know!

When we get back from out trip. ill have a week or so of school then Thanksgiving break. This will be my first Thanksgiving day not spent with my family.. I'll be at Ben's family Thanksgiving. Then the next day we are going to my family's home for the rest of my break. Its going to be nice. I need to find a really cute/nice dress to wear on at his family's Thanksgiving!

On another note, I miss my dog! He is staying at my moms house because of the traveling im doing this weekend and then for thanksgiving. I hate that hes not with me all the time! I miss his guts. hes like my little baby.

Tonight I'm going out for drinks and fries with some of the girls... I'm looking forward to it. Ive had such a boring day.

I need to do some laundry before my trip though.. or else im not going to have anything to take. good thing the weather is going to rule on saturday. I get to wear an orange floral dress to the game. :) dresses and game days with my girls are the best.

Its fall. I love fall!

My life is as perfect as it can be right now :)

Real Talk: I wish I was a Princess.

I'd be so good at it.

Time to think. Time to write.

Ive been in a real weird place the past couple of days. Most of it is probably because I've had a lot of time to think about things.

The farther along I am in school the more i think i wish i had gone to school for something else. I dont really care about psychology. I've learned a lot and have noticed that I apply it when thinking about situations and the ppl around me and just people in general.. but I dont particularly care about psychology or a career in it. I know I will end up going to grad school after this.. so maybe the shit tons of money ill be making after im done with school will give me a spark of interest in it ha. People say money doesnt make you happy.. and im sure it doesnt. But it can sure make doing something a lot more tolerable. Plus Ive been studying child psych this semester and its really interesting.. maybe a career in that.

I feel so weird about NOT being in college soon. Its scary. the past 4 years thats all I've known and lived. It's going to be so weird to not be with my girls and to have them all over the US. They wont be a 5 min drive away. It will take hours or plane rides to get to them.. and we will hardly ever be in the same place at once. Im betting the only time we will all be at one place is during our weddings and such. Its depressing to think about really. I love them. We've taken care of each other at our lowest of lows and our sadest of sad. We've also have the best time making memories together. They are the best group of girls any girl could have during college. We have become a family here.

After my time here at UT im not positive as to what I'm going to do. I know grad school will happen eventually.. but not immediately. Thats kind of scary too. Either I will go back to the Clarksville area or I'll move to St. Louis. Im thinking the second one. I know Clarksville. I know Nashville and for the most part.. I'm over it. And starting a new life is exciting and doing so with someone I care about more than I ever have is a great thing. We are on the same page. So why not? We want to take care of each other and make each other happy. I feel the best when I am with him or with my family & I feel like both bring out the best in me.

More than ever I feel like a lot of people dont understand me and theres only a select few that I trust with telling how I feel or what I think. The select few have been getting smaller and smaller in number lately. I dont think thats a horrible thing though. I think a lot of people dont understand me and my feelings because they havent gone through certain things I have. Some I think because they have already analyzed me and their opinion is already biased based on that or their idea of me is biased based on other things before even hearing me out or trying to understand where I come from. It's just real discouraging to have friends like that though. You dont know everything about me or about the things I do. So stop pretending you do before you hear me out. I guess this helps me surround myself with people who really do care about hearing me out and the people who do care about what makes me upset or what has made me happy.

I havent had any kind of drama in so long. Its really nice to delete those sorts of people from my life and how much easier life can be without it. I guess a lot of that is just part of myself growing up and not being a dramatic girl as well. Though, theres some things that dont seem to go away no matter how hard i try to delete it from my life. They are always there trailing behind or going out of their way to me to bring me down. And to that all I have to say is: grow up & leave me alone. I am happy and doing so well these days. I have it all.. great family, great friends, great boyfriend, great school. I have fun and Ive smiled more in the past 6 months than i have in the past 5 years. It just amazes me how people can think about ruining me or my spirits so much. I could care less to do that to anyone these days. I am happy with myself and the ppl i surround myself with and thats all that really matters.

"I'll look after you."

I was a mess a year ago. I slept all the time to not feel like everything was against me and to not think about how worthless I felt & I drank all weekend with my friends to also forget those feelings. I dont feel like that now and two things come to mind when I try to think why its different. 1. Spring Break. I realized how I felt about myself and the reckless things I was doing to myself and the people around me wasnt okay. 2. I met someone who makes me feel safe and lets me know I am worth it. As corny as it sounds... he saved me. What other feelings can be better than feeling safe, loved, and worth it all? There isnt. & I cant remember the last time I've felt all those things at once. The past 6 months have been so good to me. 6 months already. My friends love him, my family loves him, spent the past weekend at his family's home in St.Louis and they are great. This is so good.

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Happy Birthday to me!

My Birthday was last week! 22 is a weird age so my party was "21 AGAIN!" My friends & boyfriend are awesome. They got me a cake and everything. invited ppl over and we drank some at the apartment then went to bars. It was a great night. :)

Now I'm at moms for fall break. Next week I'll be in St.Louis with my boy. Cant wait.

"Louder, lips speak louder."

It's still so weird to me how things happen/work out.
I've got it all. I just wish I could have it all in one place. All my family, friends, school, and boyfriend.

The next few days are going to be so busy. Cant wait for Thursday :)
"I'm so in love it's retarded."

hmmm randomness

I painted a city last night on a few records. It looks pretty cool. I never feel like I'm done with a painting though... I always want to add more. & it's almost my 22nd Birthday! Boyfriend comes next week. so excited to see him. It's been a month! We are going to go to the Georgia game and he's got surprise dates planned. How sweet. Boyfriends and Birthdays rule! Then Mom,Shin, and my brothers are coming to the mountains to stay in a cabin and I get to go too since I'll be on fall break. Ahh things are good.. minus the 2 exams I have next week. 2 exams on my Birthday week. Lame! It's almost Halloween! Halloween id my favorite holiday next to xmas. Decorating this week &&&&& putting up my Halloween tree!

This is cool.

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN TENNESSEE!

Since I am in my 4th year, my girls and I get the best seats. Row 6? YES PLEASE. I hope this season is good and Kiffin brings our team back up. Just requested UCLA tickets for my girls and I for the next weekend.

Boyfriend bought me orange Hunter rain boots!

CHICAGO TOMORROW!